


Dinner with Abed

by viggorlijah



Category: Community
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-26
Updated: 2011-03-26
Packaged: 2017-10-17 07:04:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/174173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viggorlijah/pseuds/viggorlijah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeff could explain it all but with Abed, he doesn't have to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dinner with Abed

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place after the Dinner with Andre episode.

Abed turns up after their birthday dinner with a video camera, a collection of women's wigs and a tackle box full of make-up. Chang's off doing community service or scaveging for garbage; Jeff's not sure what, and he doesn't care because he makes Chang hose down in the car park before he's allowed back into the apartment. So it's just Jeff, a six-pack of micro-brewery beer and seventeen episodes of Voyager on his Tivo.

And Abed setting out make-up palettes and brushes and jars and talking about how Jeff's complexion is more of a winter than Patrick Swayze, but he has the shoulders for the role.

Jeff's had four beers and he skipped dinner so he just asks "Which wig, Abed?"

Abed makes him take his t-shirt off and clips a towel around Jeff's neck when he does his hair and make-up. Abed sections off the blonde tresses and curls them. When he takes off the towel, they fall over Jeff's bare shoulders. Abed runs his fingers through them and Jeff shivers.

They do screen tests, which mainly consists of Jeff making sexy faces at the camera while Abed tells him to turn left, look up, now look down, pout more. He comes over and re-applies lipstick and Jeff's hands end up somehow on Abed's hips to steady him. Except Abed's hips are so narrow that Jeff's fingertips are over the curves of his ass, and when Abed leans closer so that Jeff can feel see each of his eyelashes, he slides his tongue over his lips, tasting wax and chemicals and he hears Abed's breath hitch.

"I need another beer," Jeff says.

The next morning, he texts Abed _wipe all recordings or i will break kickpuncher dvds_. He skips study group, and when Shirley asks him why before class, he says "Bad hair day."

 

There's a strict rating system imposed on study group movies since Annie rented " _Y Tu Mama Tambien_ " for Spanish night, and Shirley tried to hold an intervention for Troy and Abed the next day.

Netflix sends him My Beautiful Launderette, and Jeff calls Abed while he stands in front of his mailbox, sweat trickling down his back. He's breathing a little hard from his 10K run, his muscles warm and loose. When Abed says he'll be there soon and hangs up, Jeff thinks about putting his earbuds back in and running another 10K.

He waits until Abed turns up with a bag of Doctor Rich's kettlecorn. "Start the film," he says and goes to take a cold shower.

They don't talk while the movie plays. Abed leans forward while he's watching, his elbows on his knees. He barely blinks. Jeff knows because he counts while he drinks his second beer.

The movie's pretty good. Or maybe it's the beer (But he only has three). Or that Abed doesn't look away until the credits finish, and when he does sit up, his lips are shiny from the buttered popcorn.

He tastes salty when Jeff kisses him. Salt and Mountain Dew.

 

 

He thinks maybe he's doing something fucked up when Britta catches them in a broom closet. Okay, so he can maybe explain it away as Obama's fault to Pierce and thanks to Obama's revolution to Annie, but Britta yanks him into an empty classroom and says "You had Abed's penis in your mouth. Explain."

And he can't.

Except that when Abed has sex, it's true. Abed doesn't know about dirty talk or getting in the mood or even having moves. They have sex with the lights on and Abed tells Jeff to move his hand or turn over, and when he comes, he's silent. Sometimes he closes his eyes. It's the best sex Jeff's ever had in his life.

He doesn't know how to say this to Britta without sounding gay, and that's when it hits him that maybe this is a little bit gay.

And of course, that's when Troy kicks down the door and punches him.

Abed insists on a John Hughes retrospective with Troy and Jeff on either side and it's more than a little weird. But when the dean bursts into their classroom and tries to have Abed arrested the next day, Troy punches _him_ , and they don't talk about it.

Except that Troy has Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, and alternate Monday sleepovers. And Jeff has to give him a five-second warning before they kiss so Troy can cover his eyes.

Pierce reads them both a prepared speech. Britta gloats that her lesbian speech was better.

 

They graduate. They get jobs. Abed directs commercials and training videos. He lives with his parents and spends five nights a week at Jeff's. Shirley's baby is black, and Chang ends up sleeping in a cardboard box outside her house for a week, then vanishes. Sometimes they get postcards from him.

Annie is doing her masters in anthropology and working part-time at the District Attorney's. Jeff got her the interview after he was hired. Sometimes, they leave the office together and meet up with Troy and Britta who are roommates now, and -

It's not like Greendale was meant to be permanent. He fucked up a couple of credits and lost three years of his life to community college over a stupid piece of paper, and this really isn't meant to be his life.

But in the morning, Abed makes breakfast and sometimes they have sex against the kitchen cabinets because Abed's weirdly flexible and his mouth tastes sweet, like orange juice.

 

His phone goes crazy with seveteen text messages. Five of them are from Annie who stands outside his office waving frantically at him.

"Colorado legalized gay marriage!" she says excitedly.

He raises an eyebrow.

"You could marry Abed?" she says hesitantly.

He's going to answer her with something witty and cutting about the pointlessness of a lawyer getting married, civil partnership - maybe something vicious about Elton John or Adam Lambert - but instead he can't breathe.

Annie makes him put his head between his knees and breathe into a drycleaning bag, which he's pretty sure is going to kill him faster than a panic attack. But she rubs small circles on his back and doesn't say anything when he throws up in his trashcan.

She calls Troy, and then she tells everyone in the office that he's got superflu or bird flu or possibly ostrich flu.

Troy is leaving his apartment when he gets back. "Hey," Troy says. "I'm going to be the best man. Britta can be the best woman but we're not wearing matching suits."

He nods. His head feels emptied out and filled up with static. Troy claps him on the back and walks off and Jeff's left standing outside his apartment door, unable to move.

The door opens. Abed is wearing a grey t-shirt and Jeff's old sweatpants. He looks at Jeff and says "I love you and I want to marry you."

"Is that from a movie?" Jeff asks. He still can't move. His hands feel ice-cold. "Is that a line from a movie, Abed?"

Abed tilts his head, considering. "It could be," he says. "But I'm not quoting it."

"This isn't about The Wedding Banquet or 27 Dresses or -"

"No," Abed says. "No. I love you and I want to marry you."

"Okay," Jeff says. "Okay."

He still can't move, but Abed comes out and stands against him, his hands on Jeff's elbows ( _because I like the way they bend against the palm of my hands, he explained and kissed the inside of Jeff's elbows, and when they walk side by side on the street, sometimes Abed will cup his hand against Jeff's elbow for a moment, the briefest touch because Abed doesn't like holding hands much_ ) and he presses his mouth to Jeff's and says "Marry me," and Jeff finally nods.

"I love you," he says when he's stopped kissing him, running his hands up and down Abed's neck, tracing his pulse for the way it skips when Jeff bites on Abed's lip, for the shaven hairs at the back of Abed's neck that are soft to touch, the hollow there that he can fit his thumbs against and cradle Abed's head so he can kiss him deeper.

 

They get married. It's weird.

Troy is the best man and Britta is the best woman. Pierce tries to officiate but they end up tying him to a radiator in the church basement during the ceremony, and it's all pretty good. Annie does the flowers and just about everything else, and Shirley passes on being the bridesmaid but her three kids are dressed in junior Armani as the ring bearers and flower-boy, and it's all good. Two pews are taken up by Jeff's ex-girlfriends, and the dean gets into a fistfight with them over catching the bouquet.

The wedding photographer takes one of the shots too early, and Jeff's eyes are closed and Abed is staring up at the sky, and it's the picture that he carries around in his wallet. Because it's true, and with Abed, those are the moments Jeff remembers.


End file.
